I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
