my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
