Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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