He is such a slut. More and more my type.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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