okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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