she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
