Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
