Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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