OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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