no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
