wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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