i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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