i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
