I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize