I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I am in a vortex of obligation.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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