so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
