The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
