We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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