So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
