I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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