Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I will pee on everything he values.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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