i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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