I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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