i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I still have a little drunk in my system
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
