i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
