I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
