i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
