No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Just high enough for therapy.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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