He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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