Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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