dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
