I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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