You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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