Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
