i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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