the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
