we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Acid is not a monday night drug
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
