How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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