I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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