I wish I only lived at night.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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