Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize