I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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