with your own penis?
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
