What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
