I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
