oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
