Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
