Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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