Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
