Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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