In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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