dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
