i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
