She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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