Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize