we have officially lost it.
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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